Markisms
Sometimes you need expert advice.
Have you done [insert experiment] yet?
I don't know, have you Googled it?
(Proceeds to answer me after I ask him 3 more times)
Some of you just walk down the hall, swinging the autoclave bag over your shoulder like Santa Claus.
What did you break this time?
No.
Try not to burn down the lab while I'm gone.
What do you want me to do about it?
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(Proceeds to do something about it)
What? I'm not even doing anything.
That's just going to give you a big list. What are you going to do with a list?
*mumbles something snarky*
You think I'm going to help with that?
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(Proceeds to help with that)
Well... a couple of things -
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(Proceeds to tell you why your idea doesn't make sense)
(Aggressively)
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What?
Is this actually contributing anything meaningful to science?
(in response to a happy Wednesday greeting)
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What's good about it?